FREEEEE it screams.
Oh, perhaps sometimes that's a close word to what it is, or a shortcut to the concept that you don't have to put up any money right then to get something, that it's not an outright purchase.
But here's some things that very much are not free. See, that's when you get something without paying anything to get it.
Cell phones? NO NO NO. Not free. When you get a $50 or $350 (or what have you) phone for an $18 activation fee, $24 shipping and $7.50 in taxes, that's not a free phone. Even if there are none of those charges, when it's in exchange for getting a 2 year service contract, not free. Buying some $80 or $120 data plan, you are not getting a free phone. Put them all together, consider the multi-hundreds of dollars of "early termination" and, well you get the idea.
Waiting in line for a few hours to get something, it's not free.
Having to buy two of something else to get one added in, you're getting three items at a cost of 2/3 of full price for each. None of them are free.
Filling out a bunch of forms, cutting open boxes, photocopying receipts, paying to mail it all, and waiting weeks for a check so you can go cash or deposit it; very much not free.
Going to dinner with what might turn out to be (and frequently is) some annoying boring moron hitting on you and trying to grope you before refusing to drive you home; you're playing for that dinner!
They say the best things in life are free. Relaxing on the beach and watching the sunset, things like that. Those come close.
A two year phone contract, nowhere near it.
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